Crossing Hudson

Chapter One

I sat on my sister's bed as she lay at the other end, sprawled out, twirling a stake in one hand. The act mindless to her. As a natural-born slayer she tended to gravitate towards weapons even when relaxing. I think she found the feel of them therapeutic. I didn't ask. I didn't actually want to know. There were sides of her that seriously worried me.

We'd been listening to a new CD I'd picked up from a band I liked. She wasn't all that into it as it wasn't the screeching death metal she preferred. Our taste in music was about as close as our taste in clothing. She liked to dress in clothes one would wear to a funeral, and I didn't mind incorporating color into my wardrobe—a strict no-no in my sister's world.

Eliza and I were identical twins, but you wouldn't know it to glance at us. She dyed her hair jet-black and wore it in two pigtails with blue streaks in it. My hair was a natural medium brown with blonde highlights. I often wore mine down or in what she liked to say was a rather boring ponytail. I also did not have a 'face full of holes' as our father called it. Eliza loved her piercings and wasn't shy about getting them. I didn't even have my ears pierced. I was the goody two-shoes version of her, to hear her tell the tale. She liked to joke that I was the last-known twenty-year-old virgin. At times, I felt she was right.

"Did you finish studying for your Chem exam?" I asked, already knowing she hadn't. I doubted she'd even opened a book for the class. School wasn't really her thing. Unless the topic was medieval torture devices, she wasn't generally that interested in it.

Eliza groaned, casting me a pleading look as if the topic had already started to bore her. "Ryan, it's all pointless."

"A degree is not pointless." We had a week left of our junior year at university and then we'd get a break for summer. She was thrilled to be finishing up for a couple of months. I'd have taken summer courses had I been able to talk her into them.

I wasn't permitted to attend university without her. It was the price I paid for being a Blessed One—a woman born for a powerful male in the supernatural community, a mate who was considered the First to the head of the lycans here in the United States and a protector for the side of good. I was too valuable to the greater good to be left unprotected and Eliza was my chosen protector until I was married off.

Yeah, supernaturals were not really in touch with modern times.

So, until The Powers That Be caught up with the changing times, or my mate showed up to claim me, I was stuck with a babysitter who just happened to share a womb with me and sometimes wear a dog collar in place of a necklace. And while my future was totally planned out, no one really talked much about Eliza's destiny, and that concerned me. When I asked, I was shut down, the topic left there, unresolved. Whoever she ended up with would have to be very comfortable with their mate's obsession with all things shiny and pointy. Her sword collection was huge.

To each his own.

I just counted my lucky stars I hadn't been clubbed over the head by an alpha male who was grunting and saying "mine". At least not yet anyways.

I stretched my arms over my head and winced slightly. Eliza sat up fast, her gaze filled with alarm as she reached out, putting her hand to my forehead. She liked to mother-hen me.

"How are you feeling?" she asked a note of concern in her voice.

I shrugged. "Fine."

"Did you place-jump to Cowboy today?" she asked, watching me closely.

Cowboy was what I called my mate. While The Powers That Be decided I was important, I apparently wasn't important enough to be allowed to fully meet him in person just yet. They had a preordained time this could happen and it wasn't allowed to happen a moment sooner.

They were old and stuck in their ways. Eliza liked to just say they were dicks. I was inclined to agree since my existence literally hinged on my mate. In a totally twisted logic kind of way, The Powers had made it so that I required his energy to stay alive. As if I was a rechargeable battery and he was the charging base. Though, without being allowed to meet him in the flesh just yet, I'd been forced to find creative ways to stay alive.

My sister could charge me somewhat with direct skin contact. Sometimes she'd hold me and just rock in place if the pain got too intense. She couldn't fix it fully for me—only my mate could.

Place-jumping was a gift I possessed. It involved tapping into my magik and basically soul walking. Some witches and mystics called it astral projection.

Whatever flipped your trigger.

I did it to be close to my mate, draw on his energy enough that I was still able to function. It wasn't perfect, but it was all I had for now. My options were that or death so it wasn't like I could stage a protest or anything.

"Earth to Ryan, did you see Cowboy today?"

"No," I whispered. "I think he was with his girlfriend."

She frowned. "I know it hurts now that he's dating someone, Ryan."

It more than hurt. I shrugged. "He doesn't know I'm real. To him I'm a ghost who haunts his house."

It was a crude assessment, but an accurate one all the same. Cowboy couldn't see me when I was near him. There were times I thought he might be able to hear me, but those times were few and far between. For the last few months he'd been seeing someone, and while I'd never gotten a good look at her, I knew things were getting serious between them. So much so that I didn't like place-jumping to his house anymore. I was a little nervous I'd jump in on him getting jumped.

No thanks. Some things could not be unseen.

"The Powers are total douchebags," said Eliza, shaking her head and pulling me into a hug, her energy seeping into me slowly.

I lifted my head, meeting her gaze. "Liza, do you think maybe it's all crap? That maybe I'm not really Cowboy's mate at all?"

"Hon, The Powers have gone so far as to blur the man's face to you and make you hear a squelch in place of his real name to keep his identity shrouded from you. I think it's safe to say he's your mate. I mean The Powers are dicks, but that is like super dicky."

Oddly, I'd grown accustomed to never seeing Cowboy's face. As for his name, I had nicknamed him Cowboy because he had a southern drawl and I knew he played guitar and sang country music songs when he was alone in his home. The nickname seemed to fit.

"I don't need someone to crack an egg in a frying pan to show me my brain on drugs —I only have to try to focus on Cowboy's face."

"Ryan, you always tell me what he's building, what he's reading or doing, but you never tell me what you think of him."

I leaned back on the bed and my sister put her palm on my upper arm so that energy could continue to seep from her to me. "I don't know. What, exactly, are you asking me?"

"I know you can't see his face, but does he have a sexy body?"

I nearly laughed. My sister seemed to have a new boy toy weekly. She objectified men like a champ. I didn't date. Ever. Also a total jerk move on the part of The Powers. My mate was much older than me but immortal so he wouldn't look his true age. He could date as many women as he wanted until our union came to be. I wasn't sure of the rules after the union and didn't want to ask. I probably wouldn't like the answer. The Powers were full of double-standards like that.

Bet they were all male.

I thought harder about her question. Did Cowboy have a sexy body? I thought it was pretty awesome, but I wasn't sure I was a great judge. "I don't know. I guess."

"You've been going to Cowboy's to linger around him for energy boosts for over a decade and you never noticed if he has a nice body?" Eliza asked, sounding shocked. Her heavily lined eyes aghast, she grabbed my face. "Oh gods, please tell me you don't view him as a father figure, uncle, brother, cousin, second-cousin—"

Yanking her hands off my face, I studied her acutely. "No. I don't see him as any of the above."

She didn't relax. "Then how do you see him?"

Unsure where this line of questioning was going, I groaned and tipped my head back. "Liza, you're giving me a headache. More so than usual."

"Answer my question. It's important."

"If you make fun of me, I'll zap your outfits to pink and break up that wonderfully monochromatic creepy-chick thing you've worked so hard on accomplishing."

Eliza smiled. "Have I ever made fun of you for talking about him?"

I shook my head no. She liked to mock romantic movies and flowery poems, but she'd never made fun of me about Cowboy or the fact he was my mate. "Okay, he sort of feels like an extension of me. Like a friend so close that they need a new word to describe him, even though he's never met me. There. That's it in a nutshell."

"Do you love him?"

Shrugging, I put my hands out. Instantly, my power was around me. My hair pulled outward and twisted into a loose braid of its own accord. Blondish-brown wisps framed my face. "I don't know."

Eliza took hold of my shoulders. "Ryan, who is the first person you go to when you're happy?" She laughed as I looked away. "It's okay. I know that it shifted from me to him in the last year. He used to be the one you went to when you were scared or sick. I also know he's the first person you go to for everything else now too. I'm also very aware of how in touch you are with what he's feeling even when you're not with him. Tell me the truth. You shot upright out of your seat yesterday during our study break at the library and looked horrified. What happened?"

Rubbing the back of my neck, I bit the corner of my lip and shook my head. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Ryan," Eliza said with noticed reservation. "You always tell me everything."

Normally I did, but this was different. It felt as if it would be a betrayal of Cowboy's trust. "Yes, but it's private. I felt bad for being there. He called me and I couldn't not be there for him."

Her brow creased. "He called you?"

"Yeah, he did that thing where it feels like he's yanking behind my belly button. He was so upset, Liza." I blinked away tears and took an odd interest in my hand. "I don't know exactly what happened. He locks himself down from me when he works. I can tell you that it was horrible. I got there and found blood all over his foyer, kitchen and bathroom. That's the path he takes when he gets home from work. There's a full bath off the kitchen that he uses instead of dragging everything upstairs. Anyway, I found him all cleaned up, sitting on his sofa, with his elbows on his knees and his head down."

I wiped the tears from my cheek. "I sat by him, and the minute I put my hand on… er…through his shoulder…" I shook my head and swallowed hard. Just thinking of it all tore at my heart. Such loneliness, such sadness had emanated from him. He'd been too late to save a young child from a horrible fate at the hands of bad men and while he'd made the men pay for their crime, he couldn't forgive himself for not getting there sooner. "You know what. I love you, Liza, but there are some things that I won't talk to you about. And this is one of them."

"Ryan?"

"I'll tell you that I cleaned up the mess with my power and made sure he was okay, but that's it."

"Maryann Eliza Mackenzie, you are leaving a whole lot out. Tell me now."

"No." I shook my head and squared my shoulders. "I go to him for everything. I mean it. There's nothing that I don't tell him about. The least I can do is be there for him and not blab to my sister about it. I'm sorry if you don't like it. But I would die before I hurt or betray him in any way. I won't do it, not even for you."

She threw her arms around my neck and squealed. I lost my balance and flipped off the bed, taking Eliza with me.

"Freeze us!" she yelled.

I did.

Eliza rolled off me as we hovered in midair.

"What did I almost get impaled with this time?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

Sheepishly, she shrugged and moved a flail from the foot of her bed. "Sorry. I was training with it."

Rubbing my face, I groaned, still suspended in the air. "Are you positive we're related?"

Eliza laughed as we righted ourselves onto the bed once again. "So, tell me more about Cowboy. You already more than answered my question about if you love him. Now tell me more about him personally."

I squinted and pulled back from her a bit. "I don't know. He's nice. We've never had a whole conversation so I can't be sure. He's funny too even when he's not trying to be, especially when I walk too close to him. He instantly becomes clumsy. I go to the other side of the room if he's using power tools. I already told you about one of his hobbies being furniture making. I'm afraid he'll chop a digit off while he's making furniture."

"You can talk to him?"

"Kind of."

She looked puzzled. "Explain."

In all the years she'd never taken this active of an interest in my time with Cowboy. It was different, off-putting and yet refreshing. "It's always been that way. When I was four the dreams I'd have when I was in the dark, were way too bad for me to want to be alone. I didn't like leaving your side, but had to go to Cowboy's to get energy. Anyways, I'd been on the sofa, drifting off to sleep when he went to leave the room and flipped the light switch off. I burst into tears, terrified. He flipped it back on and apologized before going and sitting in a side chair while I rested."

Eliza gasped. "Did he see you?"

"I was four. You'd think if a man found a crying four-year-old in their living room, they'd say a little more than sorry. I really believe he senses me around him, but he doesn't understand what he's picking up on." I climbed off her bed and headed towards the door that joined our rooms. The stark difference was amazing to me still. While Eliza's room was dark and a bit unkempt, mine was white with the lightest of baby blue in it. It was also spotless and missing weapons.

Hers was a weapon depot.

Eliza followed me. "Ryan, you're leaving things out."

"Uhh," I bit my lower lip, "I think he hears me when I sing."

"You sing to him?" She waved her hands. "Forget I asked. You sing to everyone. How do you know he hears you?"

"Because whenever I start to sing, he gets one of his guitars out and plays along." My eyes lit up. "He sometimes sings along too. It's weird, he'll start by humming and keeping time then he picks up with me. He has the best voice. It's fun to get him going on the call and answer. He also has a tendency to pull one of his guitars out and sing when my dreams have been so bad that I can't even fall asleep by just being in the same house as him."

Eliza smiled. "Boy, they sure knew who to send him. If the man is musically inclined, he'll be a very happy guy with you. Other girls your age would be focused on his abs and ass. You pay attention to his pitch."

"Oh, it's excellent. I think he plays by ear too, because if I introduce a new song, he picks up instantly."

Putting her hands in the air, Eliza sighed and looked up. "You had to send me the Virgin Maryann, didn't you? Just turn the sexual switch a bit. Hell, wiggle it. Only enough for her to recognize him for what he is—drop-dead gorgeous."

"I'm not touching that comment."

"Fine, tell me why you call him Cowboy. I've asked you a billion times but you always say you don't know why."

I shrugged. "I don't really have a better word for him. When he sings, he has a slight drawl, like I do all the time. He tries hard to hide it but it suits him. It makes him especially good at country songs and classic rock. He must think I'm butchering them horribly when I play and sing them. I snuck a few eighties songs in there. He doesn't seem to mind most of them. He even laughed when I played Hungry Like the Wolf for him."

Eliza went still. "Why did you play that for him?"

"I don't know. It makes me think of him."

"Is visiting him more and more now how you're gaining weight? Because you sure the hell can't keep food down here."

It was true—another side effect of being reliant on Cowboy's energy to stay alive was that if I wasn't getting enough of his energy, I couldn't keep food down and my weight dropped. "Yes, I take fruit and veggies in my backpack and eat while I study. When I'm there, it stays down. I haven't gotten to the point I can tolerate much else. I'm working on it."

She smiled wide. "That is a very good sign, Ryan."

I bit my lower lip. "Something weird happened the other day."

"Tell me he didn't have his new girlfriend over," she said, sounding pissed for me.

I shook my head. "No."

"Then what?"

"He said something about having babies with me."

She froze. "Say what?"

I sat down on my bed and she sat next to me. "Cowboy was working late on a new project. I feel bad about going there like I'm still a baby and need a night light, so I stay on the other side of his workshop to give him his privacy. I try to go further away, but he normally stops working and ends up in the same room as me. Whenever he's really into something, he works through when he should be sleeping. I think he does something in law enforcement. But I'm not sure what. I just wish he'd stop looking like he volunteered to be jumped by a gang when he gets home. I've come in to find him sitting at his kitchen table pouring antiseptic on some nasty cuts."

"He's a Guardian, Ryan."

"Oh," I said quietly. Guardians were pretty badass warriors for the side of good in the fight against evil. I wasn't sure how I felt about him being one. They were on the frontlines in the battles. "That seems a bit rough for him. Do you think he'll be okay?"

Eliza snorted. "I think he's fine."

I gave her a wide smile. "You'd be proud of me for this. Since I go right through him and vice versa, I hold the bottles of antiseptic and fill them with my healing energy. He doesn't pay much attention to his wounds, he never has, so he doesn't seem to notice them healing within minutes now. Anyway, he was working past when he should have already gone to bed. I told him he needed to get some rest, and as usual he nodded. But he didn't go to bed. He sat down on that big sofa I told you that he made but didn't put in his living room. He acts like he's waiting for something. I told him to put it in there and he said not yet."

She bit her lip and nodded.

"He fell asleep sitting up—again. I had to use my power to lay him flat because my hands go right through him. I took his boots off him with power too. They'd get the sofa he worked so hard on dirty. Anyway, I moved those to the floor and went to grab a blanket for him before I left. He said my name and I froze, sure that I'd imagined it. He said it again and he called me Ry-Mack a bunch of times. It was just odd. I warned him. I told him not to eat that ice cream he thinks makes a great breakfast. He gets wicked headaches and has weird dreams. He has selective hearing. Kind of like Dad when Mom tells him to stop eating all that junk food because it's making his cholesterol too high."

Eliza bit her lip harder, trying not to laugh. "He probably is able to sense you enough that he's picked up bits about you naturally. I'm guessing he got Ry-Mack from Maryann Mackenzie."

"He said some weird things, Eliza. He told me he was sorry that his job would keep us far from my family. Uh, I just stood there as he went on. I was scared to leave him. He talks to me all the time when he's asleep or almost asleep, but he never rattles off craziness like he did the other day. Normally, he'll ask how my class was or if I did okay on some test I was stressing about."

I balked. "He asked me to pick out colors that I liked and he'd get to work on changing things around the house to better suit us. He wanted to me to go through and pick out things that should stay or go. I asked him why he even had everything he did have. Not one bit of it struck me as things he liked. He agreed and told me that he didn't care what was around him for the longest time, but when I started to come around, that changed. He told me that's when he went back to making things again. I told him that as fabulous as his stuff is, he really needed a new hobby. With the way he was talking to me just then, I was worried he might be breathing in too much sawdust. I snickered and he laughed too. He then told me he'd just make the place over again, the way he'd have done it when he gave a—" I didn't want to repeat his words.

"Shit is the word you're looking for. It's okay to say it, Ryan. The bad-word police won't come and get you."

I shot Eliza a nasty look. "As usual, I'm ignoring you. You have a terrible mouth."

"Did he say anything else when he was lying there?"

I averted my gaze, wanting to talk about something else. "How are you doing with studying for Chem? I could help."

"Ryan, you always change the subject when you don't want to talk about something. Spill it."

With quiet reservation, I spoke, "Well, he was obviously having some sort of dream because…"

She folded her arms and stared at me. "Because…?"

I turned red. "Because he told me that he loved me and that I gave him a purpose again. He also said that I really needed to tell him things to change or build around the house. He needed something to focus on while he waited for me. He's worried he'll go mad before I actually get there if he doesn't work off some of his pent-up energy. I have no clue what he was talking about. He's odd like that sometimes."

Eliza put her head down laughing. "That's some dream."

"I know," I said shaking my head. "I went closer to him to make sure he was okay, because that was just weird. I strongly suggested he get better ventilation in there. I think the polyurethane fumes mess with him sometimes."

"I'm sure that's the problem. You should call the manufacturer and have at them, Ry."

"Do you think?" If it was a safety issue they needed to be informed.

She shook her head and glanced up at the ceiling again. "Oh, she's so sweet. At times she makes me sick." Glancing at me, she winked. "Carry on with the baby thing before I need a bucket."

I gave her a 'ha-ha' look and continued on, "When I went to check on him, my leg brushed past his newest project and I instantly got hit in the head with a vision that jerked my body forward. I tripped on his boots and fell. My arm and head went right through him."

I glanced away, my cheeks heating more.

"A vision of something happening when I'm older hit me." I gulped and turned a bit red. "I saw a slightly older version of me walking out into this big living room and laughing as I found Cowboy asleep on the floor with a wide-awake, little brown-haired boy next to him. The little boy was using him as a road for his trucks, but Cowboy was out cold and didn't seem to mind. I laughed and picked the little boy up."

The entire ordeal had left me unsettled, to the point that even retelling it was strange. "I then told the little boy that Daddy was supposed to get him to take a nap, not the other way around. He giggled and called me mommy. I didn't seem to be upset by that. I watched the older version of myself turn to walk out of the room with the boy and that's when I saw my stomach, Liza! It was like someone took my body like it is now and pasted a basketball to the front of it. I mean, yeah, I want to gain weight but not that much!"

She sat there grinning as I continued on, "Cowboy laughed and told me that he was just resting his eyes. I told him that if he's having issues keeping up with one child, wait until the next two arrive. And then I scolded him for wanting a houseful. But he told me that we were running behind—something about making up for years that were stolen from us and that I'd better hope the next two pregnancies were twins as well to make a dent in what he wants children-wise. I used my power and sent every pillow in the room flying at him. The little boy in my arms did the same thing as he laughed."

My eyes widened. "Needless to say, the second the vision receded, I thrust myself off Cowboy. Eliza, he reached out and grabbed me while he was still asleep. He touched me and didn't go through me. He just held me there. I froze like a deer caught in headlights. He laughed in his sleep and told me not to be scared, that it would all be fine. Then he thanked me for giving him projects to work on to keep himself busy. He asked me what color I wanted all the baby furniture to be. I smacked him in the forehead, but I went through him. He let go of me and laughed again. I ran from his workshop and came home so fast that I knocked my own body off my bed hopping back into it."

I paled considerably. "I think I might be spending too much time with him. You know how your insanity rubs off on me? Why the heck would I have a vision like that?"

Eliza looked at me with so much compassion and love on her face that I was worried what she might say. She wasn't exactly the huggie, lovey type. "Ryan, there will come a day very soon when things change dramatically. Some of your views on people will expand and others will narrow. You'll find yourself more jaded, less sunshine. It is the way it must be. It's said that the transition will be smooth. That when I've taken you as far as I can, your new Guardian, your mate, will be there to protect you and help you learn to control your powers. You know this already." Eliza narrowed her gaze on me. "But should that not occur…"

My stomach tightened. "Everything will be fine."

Eliza sighed. "I'm getting this sinking feeling and need for you to understand what to do should things not go as planned and I not be there to help you. If you really, really, really need help, place-jump to Cowboy. You can pull him back with you, Ryan. You can move objects and people through the planes. It's a gift you have but haven't completely grown into yet. Should you be in a desperate situation, should you really want it, it will work. Just take hold of him and don't let go. He'll come with you. Ryan, and if that doesn't work, call Porter to you. Promise me."

I nodded. "Sure. I promise."

Eliza bear-hugged me and then blew raspberries on my neck as if we were children again. We laughed and laid there, looking up at the ceiling.

I sighed. "I don't understand why I can't meet him yet. I'm an adult now," I said, already knowing the string of reasons I'd been given over the years. "If I could meet him now you could live your life and stop having to watch over me nonstop."

"I love watching over you. Your union with Cowboy will be a powerful one," said Eliza, always knowing far more than anyone else though I wasn't exactly sure why. Sometimes I wondered if my sister had a direct line to The Powers. "Powerful enough that a lot of the Elders didn't even want it to happen. They put some rules on the joining and we all get to adhere to them or else."

"Or else what?" I asked.

"Bad shit will happen," she answered. Her cell rang. She rolled off the bed, bent and kissed my temple and withdrew her cell from her back pocket. Eliza pulled her phone from her ear after talking for a minute. "I need to go out for a bit. Are you okay?"

"Slayer duty calls?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Go kill lots of bad things," I said and then grinned. "Do it quick—you have to study for Chemistry."

She groaned and then began to load up on weapons. My sister was a badass. No question about it. I shut off the music and waited until she was gone before heading to the living room area. Our apartment was within walking distance to campus, and with the recent increase in paranormal activity there, my money was on Eliza heading in that direction.

Eliza had been gone nearly an hour before I took a seat at my keyboard, my guitar propped next to it. I was majoring in music and loved just about any instrument I could get my hands on.

Positioning my fingers on the keys, I thought long and hard about Cowboy and his new girlfriend. I didn't like being petty and jealous, but it was hard not to be. My life was on hold, waiting for him and our preordained meeting day, but he could live his life fully. More importantly, he didn't need energy from anyone. I did.

Another pity-party factor.

I got lost in my thoughts, thinking about Cowboy and what he'd said while he was sleeping. I visualized him in my head, as best I could as his face was always a blur. I clung to the image of him as I started into Desperado by the Eagles. It was a song that Cowboy seemed to enjoy hearing me sing. My power flared, but I didn't think much of it. Sometimes that happened.

"What the hell?"

I froze at the sound of a familiar male voice.

I'd been told all my life that bad men would harm me in an instant to get back at my destined mate. I knew I should have screamed, something, anything, hearing a man's voice in my apartment when I was home alone, but I knew that voice.

It couldn't be him.

Turning slowly, I found a tall man standing there, shirtless and shoeless, wearing only a pair of jeans that weren't buttoned. I knew that torso. I'd seen it enough in my life. Forcing my gaze upwards, I said nothing. The minute I saw his face clearly, I gasped and scrambled off the bench, backing up fast and hitting the wall.

"Oh shit," I said, deep down knowing Eliza would be shocked by my use of a curse word. Not as surprised as I was to see Cowboy standing in my living room, but surprised all the same.

He tipped his head, his dark hair going over one chocolate brown eye. "Where am I? How did I get here?"

"Ohmygod," I said softly. "I didn't mean to pull you here. I thought my sister was crazy when she said I could even do something like that. I have to put you back. We can't meet yet. It's not time."

He stared at me, his gaze raking over me slowly. If I didn't know better, I'd have said hunger entered his eyes. He sniffed the air, his chocolate gaze shifting instantly and then returning to normal. "You!"

I stood perfectly still, unsure how to respond.

"You're real?" he asked, uncertainty in his deep voice.

I managed a nod.

"I thought you were a ghost," he said softly, easing forward.

I yelped and he stopped his progression towards me, putting his hands up instead.

He shook his head. "I won't hurt you."

That helped me out of my stupor. "I know that, Cowboy."

His lips twitched. "Why do you call me that?"

"Long story," I replied, still stuck to the wall like glue. "You really shouldn't be here right now. My sister will flip her lid if she finds you here."

A large smile broke over his face. "Oh, sweet-pea, I'm not going anywhere. I thought you were a ghost, a dream—hell, my mind snapping on me. You're real. No chance in hell I'm walking away from you now."

His words brought a smile to my face. Nervous, I cupped my hands and swallowed hard. "Thank you."

He snorted and took a small step in my direction. "I tell you I'm not leaving and you thank me?"

I lifted my shoulders slightly. "I'm not really sure what to say here."

"How about you tell me your name?" he asked. "Because I'm damn certain I know who you are to me and who I am to you. Mates."

I shook my head. "No names! Don't tell me yours."

"Why?"

I exhaled slowly. "Whenever someone says your name around me, I don't hear it. I hear a loud squelching noise. Sometimes it makes my ears bleed."

He gasped. "What? Why the fuck would that happen?"

I put my hands on my hips. "Really, Cowboy, we've had talks about your potty mouth."

He stiffened and then laughed. "Yes. We have, haven't we, Ry-Mack? I can call you that, can't I? Does that hurt you?"

"You can call me that," I said evenly.

"You planning to fuse yourself to that wall?" he asked, motioning to the wall behind me.

"I considered it."

He licked his lower lip. "How about I sit? Will that help you feel more comfortable?"

"I'm not really sure anything will help my comfort level right now. This is super awkward and we're breaking, like, ten levels of rules here."

"What rules?" he asked, taking a seat on the edge of the keyboard bench.

I wanted to touch him but I didn't dare budge. "The rules The Powers set in place. You know."

"No, I don't know. Enlighten me." He tapped the empty spot on the bench next to him. It was easy to see he was as overwhelmed with the situation as I was. Maybe more, but he had enough years on him to keep from being as obvious as I was. "I just know that I've sensed you around me for years."

I'd been place-jumping to the man for over a decade. I knew he'd never hurt me. Slowly, I managed to pry myself from my spot against the wall and take the few steps to the bench. I sat quickly, and couldn't help but stare at his face. He was so handsome. Ruggedly so, with a five o'clock shadow and strong features. Unable to stop myself, I reached up and touched his cheek. Emotions welled and I was powerless to stop them as I burst into tears. I stared into his chocolate-brown eyes. "I've never seen your face before."

His dark gaze moved over me and his eyes glistened. "I've never seen any of you before. I have to say, you're even prettier than I imagined."

I blushed, but kept crying. "Wait, you imagined what your ghost looked like?"

"Hell yeah!"

I gave him a questioning look.

Opening his mouth, he appeared to be ready to say something, but nothing came out. He wiped my cheeks and just stared at me. Every feeling I'd ever had for him came to a head. I cried harder. Before I knew it, Cowboy had me pulled to him and his mouth planted over mine. I'd never been kissed before and wasn't sure what to do. Turns out, he did. One second we were kissing and the next we were tearing at each other's clothing as if we were so hungry for one another that nothing else mattered. Maybe it didn't. Maybe The Powers were wrong and maybe, just maybe, they weren't total dicks after all.

Chapter Two

My bed was queen sized and should have fit two with ease, but Cowboy was hardly a small guy. I rolled onto my side, never feeling happier or more loved in my life. Cowboy wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed the spot on my shoulder he'd bitten me during one of our three joinings. I felt like I was in a euphoric fog. I'd been a virgin when the day had started, saving myself for my true mate, and now I was in his arms, sated, feeling whole for the first time in my life.

He put his lips to my ear, his hand roaming down my body to my hip. He was obsessed with the tattoo that was there. It had appeared the day I turned eighteen. Another gift from The Powers. They'd branded me. Jerks. Cowboy was taken with it and couldn't quit touching it. He had a similar one on his upper back, near his shoulder blade. I didn't ask how he'd come by his.

"Tell me more about these rules The Powers have, because I'm thinking we out-foxed 'em," he said, his lips pressed to my ear.

I smiled as my body heated. "Maybe."

"Tell me your name. Seems simple enough to share that much after we shared so much more than that."

He had a point. I'd done things with him I didn't even know were possible.

"Maryann," I said softly, unsure if he'd have pain from it or not. "But I like it when you call me Ry-Mack."

He traced a hand up my body and cupped my breast. "I more than like saying it."

I turned to face him, and he kissed me again, grinning like a fool. His hands found my hips as he eased up and over me. It was a position I really liked him in. "Mmm," he whispered against my lips. "You're like a drug, Ry-Mack. I can't get enough of you."

I felt the same way. From the minute he'd touched me my world had changed. I knew I'd never be able to go back to what we'd had—the faceless, barely there to one another existences. "I like this…having you here with me."

"I know you're probably sore, sweet-pea, but I want to be back in you again," he said, in a low husky tone.

I flushed, still not used to being so open with the topic of sex.

His lips twitched.

"Don't laugh at me," I chastised.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the door to my room burst open. Cowboy was up and off the bed in a heartbeat, his arms out, claws emerging from his fingertips.

Holy crap. I'd been told that my mate was a lycan shifter, but I'd never seen him shift forms. He'd kept this side of himself from me. I wasn't sure why.

Because he never felt the need to protect himself around you, I thought silently.

Eliza was there, stake in hand, a dangerous look on her face. She'd killed plenty of shifters in her life. I didn't want Cowboy next on her list.

Screaming, I pushed out of bed fast, pulling the sheet around me. "Liza, no! It's Cowboy!"

She held the stake higher, her gaze raking over him. She arched a brow. "Wow. He is very hot!" She shook her head. "And he shouldn't be here. How is he here?"

"You're a twin too?" asked Cowboy, glancing back at me, his claws receding. "That the Goth version of you?"

Too?

I tossed him his jeans. He caught them with one hand and put them on slowly.

"How the hell is he here?" Eliza demanded.

I bit my lower lip. "Turns out you're right. If I really want something, I can pull it to me."

She groaned. "Tell me you didn't."

"I did."

"And you slept with him?" she asked, her voice raising slightly.

Since it was obvious I had, I said nothing.

Cowboy straightened and stiffened, possessiveness and a strong feeling of protection for me oozing from him. "You may be Maryann's sister," he said slowly, his drawl more pronounced, "but I don't see what business that is of yours. Maryann is my mate. I claimed her. It was the right thing to do. Fuck The Powers crap. They've played around with us long enough."

Eliza gasped and looked up, seeming to focus on something else for a moment before shrieking and moving into my room more. "Send him back and wipe his memory of meeting you! Mask the claiming! Do it now!"

Cowboy looked like he wanted to kill someone. "She will not send me back. Not unless she's coming with me. I'm not walking away from her now. And I'm sure the hell not letting her wipe my memory of her!"

Eliza glanced upwards, looking towards the ceiling, her eyes widening. "You need to go now! The Powers have sensed something is off. They're scanning your home now, Cowboy. If they find out that you've not only met but joined with her, they'll kill her in an instant. They value you too much to hurt you, but they'll sever the link between the two of you and she can't survive without you. Her heart will cease to beat. Literally. You know they have the power to do it. But they can't harm her once you're together in a couple of months—the original time you were to meet her. What do you want, eight weeks without her if you go now, or eternity without her because they killed her? They're terrified of how powerful the two of you may end up being together and are looking for an excuse to get rid of her. See, they didn't exactly want this match to occur. Nature did. They'd rather it not happen."

Cowboy stood still and appeared to be listening to something no one else could hear. He gasped and grabbed me fast. "Send me back now! I feel them coming."

I shook my head as tears fell down my cheeks. He wasn't even gone yet and already I felt an acute sense of loss at the idea of sending him away. I couldn't do it. It would shatter me. "No."

"Ry-Mack, you don't have a choice. She's right. They'll kill you without a second thought and I won't let that happen." He cupped my face and kissed my forehead. "Two months, sweet-pea. That's all. Two months and then we'll be together again. I promise."

I shook my head, steadfast in my decision. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't be without him again.

Eliza brushed my hair out of my face, her expression one of love and concern. "He'll come in two months. He'll open the link more and you can find him if he doesn't make it in time."

"In time for what?" inquired Hudson, worry in his eyes.

Eliza gave him a look I couldn't read. "The day they picked for the two of you to meet face to face is key. Too soon, bad will happen. Too late, bad will happen. The Powers stacked the deck against her, Cowboy, against this union. They want the two of you to mess up and fail. You screw up, she dies. And with this now, I don't know what they'll do if they learn of it. They may kill her, they may do something else, something worse than death."

Cowboy's eyes widened as tears came to them. He was a strong alpha male. Tears weren't normally their thing. "Oh God," he hugged me tight and lifted me off my feet, "I'll come. I swear to you that I will be there for you, Ry-Mack. Wipe my memory and send me back before it's too late."

"No, I don't want to go back to being a ghost in your life. You'll just go right back to her and forget about me."

He took a deep breath and looked up. "Please, Ry-Mack. I promise you I won't forget. I won't go back to anyone. I'll wait the time needed and I'll be here. But you have to send me back now. They're almost here. I don't want to lose you. Please."

I cried so hard that sobs tore free from me. "But you will forget all about me and you won't stop things with her. I know. I feel it."

"I'm sure it will all be fine," Eliza said, trying to soothe me. "Send him home."

"But…"

Cowboy set me on my feet and took hold of my shoulders. "Ry-Mack, do you remember where I keep my silver ring, the one with the wolf head on it?"

I nodded as I cried.

"Get it now."

Putting my hand out, I watched as the ring appeared. Cowboy tried to put it on my thumb but it was huge. Eliza ran out of the room and was back within seconds with a long silver chain. Cowboy took it, his hands shaking as tears fell free from his face too.

Eliza left us alone and I was thankful for that.

Cowboy took us both down to our knees and put the chain over my head. "Here, you keep this. It belongs to you now. I'll know who you are when I see it again. And I will see it again, Ry-Mack. I can promise you that. I'll come in two months and I'll take you home with me where you belong. If for some insane reason I don't come, you find me. You jump to me and I'll be there for you. You have my word."

Dropping my head down, I looked at the ring and cried harder.

"I love you," he said, pulling me into his arms tight. "Send me back. Now. Hurry."

I let my energy build. It surrounded him and held him tight. A sob tore free from his throat as well as mine. "Please don't make me send you away, Cowboy. Please."

He didn't answer me. He couldn't. He was crying as hard as I was.

I touched his cheek gently. "You will… not," I took a deep breath, "remember this as being real. You'll think it was a dream. When you try to concentrate on it, it will be there but too fuzzy to make it all out. And you will mask my scent on you for your own safety. Now, go back."

He disappeared and I stayed on my knees crying. Eliza came in and drew me into her arms as she sat next to me. "I am so sorry."

I lay there for a minute and then held his ring in my hand. "Liza?" I asked, still crying.

"What, honey?"

"I can't remember what he looked like and I know he told me his name but…but I can't remember it. Why can't I remember it?"

"Because The Powers That Be are dicks."